wayyyzzztteeed.

Who would have thought that those long, cold walks in January, during the blizzard, would only benefit me for a few months? I did. I predicted that..but I wanted you to prove me wrong. But that's okay. My theory is now a fact - nothing lasts forever. I find my pride trying to play the arbitrator and say "well, i can move on this easy" and find someone to temporarily fill the shoes you wore..but they can only please me for 15 mins..you know..until I get my nut. But damn..damnn is all I can say. Damn meeeee. Damn you. Why couldn't you try that extra 40 percent..why can't I just text you right now and say "take me back." It'll be that easy..but something is pulling me back and I know what it is..

..you aren't my soulmate..just someone I fell in love with. I have dreams of the person I need to be with..he's not you. He understands my fucked up mind, but he's so far away..Ugh. I have too much time on my hand. I can't wait until August..I miss doing work and I miss my friends taking my mind off of you.

I want to just sleep..
but I keep having these dreams of you and some other boy..but he's nothing like me..shit, i'm better. i know i'm the best thing you've had..the things I did..you took them for granted, but I know that you'll look back and say that you fucked up..I hope I'm over you by then.

Ah, you know how to touch me, though..You touched the right spots..and I'm waiting for that right now..I want you to annoy me like you do..I wanna wish you away and then crawl back under your arm and lay on your chest..TEAARRRSSS DAMNNN I FUCKED UP..but I'm biting my lip..and I'm going to fight these tears and I'm going to fight you out of my mind..



but the tears are flowing now..so maybe you won..
I miss you laying next to me and looking into your eyes and then you close your eyes and smile..
but fuck your smile. fuck you. this is your fault..
You told me that even if I gave up, you'd still try and try your hardest because we were suppose to be together "forever"..yeah, what happened to that? How long is "forever"..because we were only together for 6 months..6 bittersweet months..of fights and making up and kissing and me walking out and coming back..


eh..lemme stop being a bitch about this and just take it.
i'm too young for this.