That's how I choose to live. No more compromises. I see through your disguises.

I have a few things that I want to touch on for my sake..
but I don't have much patience or time to sit here and write, so I'll make a quick note of what I'm feeling.

Second Guessing - the other sides. unbiased. Progression. Stagnant - not moving. Living in the norm < Exploring = expanding = too much, just enough, or too little?


My presence = intimidating? That's fine. I'll keep that.


Here's time: 2:45pm


I don't need handouts. I don't need any type of help. Don't give me your money. Don't give me your half of an hour and say that you were there.
I can be stripped of everything and I'll be fine. That's what I proved to myself. All of these disasters around me, but I'm still here and I still have me. I haven't left my side so why should ..why would I betray myself by killing myself? How weak of me. I let you people fool me. I let you convince me that I can't make my own decisions. THIS IS MINE. my time. you turn your backs now or i'll set you on fire later.

I'll find my peace of mind.

I don't know what I want to do at time like these. This is the moment, The blow up. The meltdown. Shaking uncontrollably. I don't know if I should scream, silence myself, cry, sleep, smile, laugh hysterically, walk. I don't know. I've tried all of those, though. I'm still fighting while I'm quiet, sleeping, crying, smiling..I'M STILL FIGHTING. I have the ability to be something so big and I'm finally realizing the power I have. The question "why?" surfaces, but why not? You can be anything you want..that is apart of our natural rights..so why not be that person you think about being? why not second guess? Explore that other side. That's what I'm doing. I'm a human just like you, but I know I'm going to do some extraordinary things.


freee freee freeee your mind. his word over yours. don't let him win. do not submit to someone who seems to have a higher power than you. this is yours. take this. do that.




* disclaimer : i'm not writing this blog for no one else, but myself. you = me. these are my thoughts aloud.