SERIOUSLY?

I'm about to start acting like a complete asshole starting right now.


Never will I feel like I'm a hinder to anyone. The least I try to do is help people, not inflict pain or cause any type of stress. I'm a friend, not an enemy, associate or anything less than that; because if I was, you wouldn't even get the satisfaction of hearing my voice.

Never will I chase a dream that I know will only stay a dream. You and I would never be; so why should I give you any of me? Why should I give you any sort of feeling? Will I settle for less? Hell no. So why should I settle for a little fling with you? Just saying, you're not gaining in this race. I don't need or want your fucking apologies, just stop making me fall for you anymore. It's making me look like a fool and making you look like an asshole.

Never will I be there for a "friend" who just uses me for their entertainment when they're other "friends" aren't available. I am not the last resort nor the 3rd wheel. Not to sound like I'm some royal prick, but I deserve way better from these people.



So here we go again. This analysis is showing me how weak my perception is when it comes to these people I call my friends. I don't need as many people in my life anymore & I'm starting to notice that. I'm noticing them fall off the face of the earth (in my head) each day. Sad to say, yes. But I'm getting too fucking old for this shit.

I've been thinking too much lately & for a quick second, I thought that I was about to break down. But I refuse to let a tear form in my eyes.

I'm pissed.

edit//
a few minutes later, i get a text from someone who wants to fuck. WTF DO YOU THINK I AM?! SERIOUSLY.